Return of the Hulk

I AM IN DESPERATE NEED OF A COMP. DESK & TV STAND!!!! 

Hello I am in desperate need of a Computer desk for our computer, and a T.v stand that would fit a big screen t.v. We cant afford much, & wouldn't be able to spend a whole lot on either items sorry. So we are looking to buy at a more reasonable price preferably free... I would really appreciate it if you would respond with pictures just so I can see what they look like please. Thanks for your time and looking! 

And my form letter response:

Hello, 

I am writing in response to your request for a desk and TV stand on craigslist.  The title of the post refers to a desperate situation, in this case the need for a computer desk and a stand for a big screen TV. 

I understand the issue is that you have a computer but no computer desk and a big screen TV, a luxury item, and nothing to set it on except the floor.

Let me help you out with something.  A little vocabulary lesson if you will.  Webster's defines "desperate" as:

1 a:  having lost hope  b: giving no ground for hope 2 a: moved by despair  b: involving or employing extreme measuresin an attempt to escape defeat or frustration 3: suffering extreme need or anxiety 4: involving extreme danger or possible disaster 5: of extreme intensity
So, in case you have trouble understanding the above, a desperate situation would include being on the edge of starvation, unable to feed your family, with no hope of aid.  A desperate situation would be living in a region where at any time you could be dragged out into the street and shot in the head for your beliefs, or just for entertainment.
You, you spoiled asshole, are not desperate.  You're a lame piece of shit who can't imagine life without a TV stand for your big screen TV.  You are what is wrong with this world.
Go fuck yourself.