Facials Are Funny

Wow. As originally seen on craigslist:

free Mary Kay facials

I am offering complimentary facials to girls over 18 or under 18 with consent of a parent, and of course" LADIES YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO BE A PART OF THE FUN! " I am a new consultant and new to this area, I am needing a lot of practice. So email me with your name and phone number to set up a time to pamper you and make you feel special! Thank you for your support!

What could I possibly say that would improve on this? Here's my attempt:

Hello,

I am responding to your ad placed on craigslist regarding free facials. I would like to receive one for myself, but unfortunately they only appear to be for women and I am male. I've seen several movies where facials were performed, but I've never been able to get anyone to give me one. At least not someone with any previous experience.

Would you be willing to give a male a facial as well? If it would help we could meet privately instead of holding a facial party.

Thanks