On a Keizer Bun

Again, huge apologies for not having the original Craig's List post.  The only reason I responded to this guy was he claimed "I know video games so don't try 2 mess with me.  I know what I'm doing".  That was enough right there.

Agentkooper's response:

You don't know video games. If you did you would be charging half the
price you are. But I'll take pity on you and give you 100% of your
asking price minus 75% for claiming to know video games when you
obviously don't. And I just want Caesars Palace. $ 0.50 is my final offer.

Mr. Keizer was quick to respond:

I know about video games, we have every thing from Atari to the Wii. I am selling these because they are doubles and we dont need them. I am asking $2 for the game, so now I will not take $0.50.

And back at him:

Now you will not take $0.50?  Will you take it later?  Will you take it in a boat?  Will you take it with a goat?  When will you take my fifty cents? I can deliver it to your tents!

Since you know so much about games and have so many doubles I am looking
 for games from these systems:
 The Vectrex, The Neo Geo, The Wonder Swan, The Piipen?
 No? Then you suck!
I know what I'm doing!

Childish?  Yes, but this guy really pissed me off.  Apparently, the feeling was mutual:

Look dude you need help.  For your imformation the Vectrex is for sale at Amazon for $200 and its a system set, The Neo Geo is a system for $400, The Wonder Swan is not a game either and Piipen is not a game either.
I listed a few games I am selling for cheap. I neave said I had any rare expensive systems for sale. So back off. I am not selling a game worth $2 for .50. You are insain. If you dont want want it then go away and leave it be.

More correspondence:

Mr Keizer,
Are you offering me help?  Because you're right, I do need help.  I need help finding Ceasar's Palace for $.50.  I also need help understanding your message.  When you wrote "If you dont want want it then go away and leave it be" I got confused.  Are you creating a situation where if I don't want to want it I should go away and leave it be, or is this a clever double negative where you are in fact asking me to stay and bugger the crap out of it?  And I am unsure of your meaning when you referred to me as insain.  At first glance I believed you to be accusing me of being insane, which is quite possibly true, but upon further inspection I came to realize that you might believe I was "in drain" or otherwise stuck in plumbing apparatus.  If this is the case let me take a moment to put you mind at ease.  I am not trapped in a pipe a la Mario.

Sincerely,
Agentkooper

And finally, in desperation, this:

Well played Mr. Keizer, well played.  Your incredible knowledge of video games has won the day.  I have decided to increase my offer of $.75 for your copy of Ceasars Palace to an astounding $1.  I know that this is half your original asking price, but it is double my original offer, and honestly, who would profit most from that?

I hope this offer is to your liking.  I realize now that attempting to talk you down in price was poor practice, especially considering how badly I want, nay, need this game.  It is like a hole in my soul, a rhyme all the time, a sunken boat in a moat, swiss cheese filled with fleas.  I can't sleep, I can't eat.  Help me Mr. Keizer, you're my only hope.

Sincerely,
Agentkooper