The ! Means He's Excited

This is so lame, but people post like this everyday expecting possible sellers to do all the work and the buyer can pick and choose as he likes.  Well, screw that.

As originally posted on Craigs List:

Looking for some video games!

Hello, I'm looking for any games that you have that you want to sell. Pending on the game and system, I will offer you $1 - $10 a game. Games that are COMPLETE (Box, Game, Instructions, any thing else inside the original box) are much more intriguing to me and you will get my attention first. Please let me know off the bat if they are complete. 
I'd prefer most older games. (Such as Nintendo or NES, Super Nintendo or SNES, Sega Genesis, Sega Saturn, Playstation 1 and 2, etc.) Not looking for the newer generations games like PS3 or XBOX360. I will buy lots, single games, anything, you name it! Please send me a list of what you have and if possible a picture of the item/items. 
I'm also looking for a few actual systems, so let me know what you have, and I'll let you know if im interested!

Agentkooper's Response:

Hello,

I'm going to be married soon and I don't think I'll have time for my old games.  It makes me sad, but if I can send them to someone who will appreciate them I'll feel much better.

I attached a picture of my collection (no time to list) but there are a few hundred of them.  I didn't realize that games were worth so much less without covers or instructions so I guess I can let the whole thing go for a few hundred.  Make an offer!

Just a few minutes after sending this email the guy was ready to go.  He sure likes him some games!!  His response:

Where are you located? Do you have the systems for the games?

Of course I do!  Don't be ridiculous:

I'm located in Bellevue.  I do have the consoles, but the NES is hard to get to work sometimes (lot's of blowing!, haha).  I also have more than what's in the picture, but like I said, I thought they were worth a lot until I read your post saying games weren't complete without box, instructions and stuff.  So just make an offer.  I'll make a list of games if that will make it easier to come up with a fair price.  It's hard to tell in the picutre, but there are some folders that have sega saturn games in them.

Damn, this guy is keeping me busy.  His response:

if you had a list that would be great.

So he writes 9 words and wants me to send him a huge ass list so he can then decide if he wants the games or not.  I'm only too happy to oblige:

It's going to take me a little while.  I'll be done in an hour or two.

I thought that might guilt him a bit, but no, several responses in a row:

Are there many sports games? I am not really looking for sports games.

 

Thanks

And then in response to me being done in an hour or two:

sounds good 

And because he is such a good guy:

you dont need to list any of the atari stuff

So we thought we'd give him a nerd-gasm:

Is it going to be worth more than $200?  Otherwise I don't know if I want to take the time.  Will you be able to pick up?

How nice of him to respond:

How about $200 - $300?? Could you just list the systems and how many games? Yes I could pick up

 

thanks

More from me:

OK, I'll get on it right away!  Should I just throw the Atari stuff out then?

And his response:

No dont throw the Atari stuff out. Do you have many Mario Games or Contra?

I decided not to list everything I told him I had on here, but the list I copied can be found on this site: http://www.phillip.htmlplanet.com/photo3.html

I hope he tries to lo-ball me now:

It should probably be $300 just for how long it took to type this list (LOL!)  Seriously though, I know it's a pain to drive all the way here so just make a fair offer.  I know the Saturn wasn't very popular and the Atari is old and I don't have boxes so it's not a very good collection.  Just let me know what is a fair price.

I guess the list wasn't good enough because he sent this back in two seperate emails:

Can you please list how many controllers you have for each system

 

Thanks

and:

Do have an Nintendo 64?

My response:

I do, but I'm giving those to charity

I feel really bad for him because he sent me this:

darn I was really looking for 1

And then the final offer:

Would you take $250.00 cash?

For that collection?  $250... cash?  Wow!  An awesome deal!  3k worth of games for $250!  Nice!  Of course I'll take $250!

As long as that is fair.  Of course I'll take $250!!!

But I wouldn't want to put him out:

I cant get up there until this weekend

Now to find out if the guy has any soul at all:

Ok, that sounds good!  I didn't want to tell you earlier because I didn't want to make you feel guilty and pay more than the games are worth, but all of this is going toward hip replacement surgery to cure a degenerative bone disease that will take my leg if I don't get the surgery done in time.  So thanks for being a fair dealer.  This will help a lot toward the $20,000-$30,000 it's going to cost!  

Why don't you email me on Friday and we can set up a meeting time.

Thanks again!  This is what makes craigslist so great!

It turns out he feels really bad for me:

Thanks....If you had the Nintendo 64 and i had some more cash i would have loved to offer more. My wife is going to kill me. She thinks I am crazy for collecting video games. I already have 1000's of video games. I used to collecte them when I was younger but started back collecting them to help stop a gambling problem I had. What was your name? My name is Ryan.

 

Thanks

If only I had the Nintendo 64 this would have been so much better for him, I mean me, I mean him:

Alvin Cooper

Nice to meet you

Cold, Cold World

I'm not going to be contacting this guy, but it's too good not to show:

50+ blue and orange popsicles

My kids only eat red popsicles, so here I am again, with a freezer full of blue and orange popsicles . . . . Free to anyone who can pick them up today. Tell me what time you can be hear (I'm near Steilacoom and Bridgeport) and I'll send the address to whoever can be hear first.

Hating Toys

Poop n Pee put me onto this one because he is an asshole.

As oringally seen on Craigs List:

Easter Bunny - A MUST HAVE!! - $25

Get both of these cuddly "Easter bunny bears" for only $25... They are NEW!!!! NOT USED! 9.5" 2 Assorted Color Sitting Bears wearing rabbit ears. Bears are assorted tan and brown. Each is wearing a jelly bean ribbon and holding a decorated Easter egg. WONT LAST LONG... LIMITED SUPPY.... EMAIL ASAP...

Our response:

Hello,

According to your listing on Craigs List the product you are offering, two bears dressed in Easter attire, "are NEW!!!! NOT USED!".  I am interested, but only if you promise that no child has cuddled, looked at while smiling, or in any other way brought joy to these Easter bears.  I realize this request may sound strange, but my children demand emotionally deprived or even abused toys as they believe it makes the toy more self reliant on them, and thankful for any amount of attention they show.

Thank you

I like this guy!  His response:

LOL... Yep!  Thats all I have are emotionally deprived toys looking for a home...

Don't we all... Don't we all.

I'm Your Biggest Fan!!

Just asking the obvious.  Original Craig's List post:

Desk Fan - $5

i have an brandnew desk fan still in the box and sealed look at the pictures iff u are interested please call me at ***-***-**** thanks !!!!

Sometimes it's fun just to be an asshole:

Hello,

I am very interested in purchasing your desk fan, but I am curious how you know that there is actually a fan inside the box if the box is sealed.  Could you open the box to make sure before this sale progresses?  Any pics proving it is a fan would be appreciated.

Thank you for your time.

Oh good God she opened it and responded twice:

hy there i m nicole !!!! i just opened the fan and it is a fan in there still rapped up and brandnew !!!! let me what u think or if u want them !!!! my number is ***-***-****   thanks

hy there !!!! i just opened it and it is a fan in there with everything still packed up let me know what u think or iff u wanna have it !!!! thanks or call me at ***-***-****

I was just going to ask her if she had a sealed one because I don't like to buy used, but Poop n Pee insists that I push this a bit farther.  Agentkooper's response:

Nicole,

Is there any chance I could get a scan of the front of the fan or a photo of the fan next a standard stuffed animal (like a Care Bear, Gloworm, etc.) so I can better gauge the size?  I have a very tight area I have to fit this into and I want to make sure it isn't too big.

Thanks for everything!  You are great to work with!

Believe it or not, she did respond to tell me that the picture of the fan, now opened, was posted (is that a stuffed animal in the picture?):

hy !!!! i have the picture edit to craigslist !!! take a look and let me know  thanks

Lot's for sale, Lot's sold

Huge post, but you have to see the whole thing to understand my response.  Thanks to Poop n Pee for putting this one together.

Collectable games for Nintendo,Saturn,SNES,N64 Games - $10

I have lots of games for sell. I have many great titles for different systems. If you are interested in any of these games please feel free to email me, so we can schedule a meeting time. I also have a few list of games that I may be willing to make trades for. ***-***-**** Call between 11am-6pm. Thanks. 

NINTENDO NES 

Excitebike $6 
Metroid $10 
Adventure Island $8 
Legend of Zelda Gold Cart $15 
Adventure of Link Gold Cart $15 
Ninja Gaiden $6 
Ninja Gaiden II $10 
Tetris $10 
Dr Mario $10 
Double Dragon II $8 
Double Dragon III $10 
Donkey Kong Classic $8 
Ghost'N Goblins $10 
Castlevania II $10 
Batman $5 
Batman Return of the Joker $10 
Paperboy $8 
Megaman 2 $10 
Megaman 3 $10 
Megaman 6 $15 
Metal Gear $6 
Rygar $6 
Strider $8 
River City Ransom $15 

NES Controllers $5 
NES Light gun $5 
NES Advantage Joy stick $5 

 

SUPER NINTENDO SNES 

Donkey Kong Country $8 
Donkey Kong Country 2 $15 
Final Fantasy Mystic Quest $8 
Contra III $15 
Super Mariokart $15 
Super Metroid $15 
Megaman Soccer Complete in Box (very rare) $40 
Aerobiz Supersonic (very rare) $30 

Super SNES controllers $7 

 
 

NINTENDO N64 

Super Mario 64 $15 
Donkey Kong 64 $10 
Zelda Ocarina of Time $10 
Bomberman 64 $8 
Super Smash Bros. $15 
Mariokart 64 $15 
Bomberman Hero Complete in Box $15 
Banjo Kazooie in Box (no manual) $15 
Super Mario 64 Complete in Box $25 
StarFox 64 Complete in box with Rumble Pak $25 

 

SEGA SATURN 

Tetris Plus $10 
Tomb Raider $10 
Street Fighter the Movie $10 
Street Figher Alpha 2 (New, seal is broken) $20 
Golden Axe the Duel (New seal is broken) $60 

Saturn controller $7 
Saturn AC/AV cords $15 
Saturn Memory Card $10 

 

Agentkooper's response (as written by Poop n Pee)

Dear Sir or Madam
I am most interested in all the games you have for sale in this post, with the exception of Simon's Quest.  That is a very bad game (follow link for more on that subject http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4we8iFk-fY).

Before we can discuss a meeting place, bulk pricing or the possibility of trades I would appreciate new pictures of the games with the word "sold" super imposed over each item for sale.  While this may be an odd request it would put my mind at ease that you will in fact be selling the games and further confirm your dedication.

Thank you for your time.

P.S.
What happened with Bomberman Hero to make the text for the word "sold" green instead of red?  I am nervous.

His response didn't anwser my questions, but you can see it below:

Hi, I can do bulk pricing. Let me know what games you are interested in, and then I can take a picture of it for you and attach to your email.

Thanks.

So let's ask again:

I find it very disconcerting that you didn't answer my question.  Why does Bomberman Hero have a green "sold" over the top when every other game had red writing?  I am very concerned that this may be a scam in progress.

Otherwise, I am interested in all the games that don't have lines through them.  The others are bad luck and I don't want them in my home.

Please send a picture with "sold" written over the top so I know you are not thinking of also selling these to others.

Thank you

What a load of crap!

Thanks to friend Poop n Pee for sending so many of these awesome products.

As originally posted on Craig's List:

Manure

6 - 5gallon buckets and 3 smaller buckts

My response to the ad below:

Hello,

I am interested in the manure but I have a few questions.  Is it fresh?  What are the dietary habits of the production animal?  Especially curious if the manure can be considered organic.  I am somewhat confused by the volume of the manure.  Are you offering between five and six one gallon buckets, or six buckets each containing five gallons of manure.  Finally, can you check the volume of the three smaller buckets?  This can easily be done by emptying the manure out and measuring the amount of water that it takes to fill each bucket.

Thanks!

Dumping Bush

This guy totally doesn't deserve this, but what the hell?

Original post on Craig's List.

Free bushes---hedging ??

Not sure exactly what they are called, they are approx. 5 feet tall and are up against fencing. I can't take a pic sorry. There are about a dz. you dig them up and they are yours. Otherwise i chop them down and away they go to the dump.

Agentkooper responds:

President GW Bush may not have been the most popular president, but this is a sick joke.  Threatening to chop and dump the bodies of the former President's ancestors is not funny.  On top of that you don't even have the courtesy to look up their names.  How about Prescott Sheldon Bush, or Dorothy Walker, or Rev. James Smith Bush, or even George Herbert Walker?  At least you show the decency not to post pictures of the deceased in various stages of decay, although eluding to such is disgusting. 

What an outrage!

MODern pricing

One thing that really pisses me off is when people set their price at $1 in the title of their product listing when they will obviously be charging a much higher price.  An examply of this idiocy can be found below.

Custom, Modded, HDMI Xbox 360 + extra 320 OBO - $1

Custom modded xbox 360 with all cords and 20gb hard drive NOT BANNED and xbox live safe 
everything works with rrod fix 
what you get is 
xbox 360 with 20gb hard drive 
HDMI cord (not a/v) and power cord 
wireless controller 
3-5 burned games maybe more 

Agentkooper's response to the ad:

That, sir, is an amazing product!  You do great work!  WOW!  Although I do have some questions.  How did you make the side of system invisible?  Is it really a decal, or did you just paint the side to look exactly like the inside components?  Also how did you get your rrod fixed?  I've had so many problems with mine.  Finally, what burned games are we talking about here?
It all sounds like a great deal for only $1, but Momma Kooper didn't raise any fools.  I'll give you $.75 for the package, but if you can definitely give me five good games I'd be willing to go up to $.85. 

Good news for me, Mr. Mod decided to give me a little more info, although using a shift key is too much to ask:

sorry its not for $1 its actually $320 or OBO
and its cutted and place with plexiglass so you can see inside the xbox
the rrod fix is done by a friend and he took the xclamps off and put artic silver for the thermal 
i got games like cod5, mortal combat vs dc,left 4 dead,army of two,saint rows 2,resident evil 5, guitar hero world tour and aerosmith

Hoping for some idea of why people lie about their pricing, I respond:

Why does your title line have $1 written into it if you're asking more than that?  Just curious.  Has anyone made an offer yet?  I am still very interested in this system.

Poop n Pee has decided to get into the discussion, posing as a little kid who is incredibly excited that his dreams of owning an Xbox 360 will finally come true.  

This is so freaking cool i aked my mom if i could get an xbox and she said i could if i could raise the money but i didnt have enough so i didnt think i woul dbe able too gt one but i saw your ad and now an very excited becuz i can aford this i cant belif you are selling this for so little but i have 1 dollar and my mom said to email you and ask when i can get it but she didnt think that you were selling it for so little so i am emailing you so i can tell her were to go so she can get it also you said 3-5 burned games or maybe more i have a total of 80 dollers and would spend more if you can give me more games because i relly want some more games because i wont be able to afford more thank you very much and god bless

He has responded:

usually a lot of people on craigslist will put things for $1 but also in the title line it says $320 OBO then if you read the contents inside it also says $320 OBO so you have to read carefully and some offers i got were like $275

Poop n Pee is having much less luck getting a response so he tried again:

i got a 3 day weekend and my mom will let me come pick up your xbox until 8 oclock tonite if you hurrry i can come pick it up tonite and like i said i will be able to buy more cames as much as 80 dollers worth so please answer me quick cause i would really like to be able to play xbobx  tonite if i could cause that would be aweomse and my mom is wanting to not half to go out that late if she dont have to thanks once again my name is Doug but i cant give you my phone number till i get yours first my mom wont let me thanks man and god bless

On a Keizer Bun

Again, huge apologies for not having the original Craig's List post.  The only reason I responded to this guy was he claimed "I know video games so don't try 2 mess with me.  I know what I'm doing".  That was enough right there.

Agentkooper's response:

You don't know video games. If you did you would be charging half the
price you are. But I'll take pity on you and give you 100% of your
asking price minus 75% for claiming to know video games when you
obviously don't. And I just want Caesars Palace. $ 0.50 is my final offer.

Mr. Keizer was quick to respond:

I know about video games, we have every thing from Atari to the Wii. I am selling these because they are doubles and we dont need them. I am asking $2 for the game, so now I will not take $0.50.

And back at him:

Now you will not take $0.50?  Will you take it later?  Will you take it in a boat?  Will you take it with a goat?  When will you take my fifty cents? I can deliver it to your tents!

Since you know so much about games and have so many doubles I am looking
 for games from these systems:
 The Vectrex, The Neo Geo, The Wonder Swan, The Piipen?
 No? Then you suck!
I know what I'm doing!

Childish?  Yes, but this guy really pissed me off.  Apparently, the feeling was mutual:

Look dude you need help.  For your imformation the Vectrex is for sale at Amazon for $200 and its a system set, The Neo Geo is a system for $400, The Wonder Swan is not a game either and Piipen is not a game either.
I listed a few games I am selling for cheap. I neave said I had any rare expensive systems for sale. So back off. I am not selling a game worth $2 for .50. You are insain. If you dont want want it then go away and leave it be.

More correspondence:

Mr Keizer,
Are you offering me help?  Because you're right, I do need help.  I need help finding Ceasar's Palace for $.50.  I also need help understanding your message.  When you wrote "If you dont want want it then go away and leave it be" I got confused.  Are you creating a situation where if I don't want to want it I should go away and leave it be, or is this a clever double negative where you are in fact asking me to stay and bugger the crap out of it?  And I am unsure of your meaning when you referred to me as insain.  At first glance I believed you to be accusing me of being insane, which is quite possibly true, but upon further inspection I came to realize that you might believe I was "in drain" or otherwise stuck in plumbing apparatus.  If this is the case let me take a moment to put you mind at ease.  I am not trapped in a pipe a la Mario.

Sincerely,
Agentkooper

And finally, in desperation, this:

Well played Mr. Keizer, well played.  Your incredible knowledge of video games has won the day.  I have decided to increase my offer of $.75 for your copy of Ceasars Palace to an astounding $1.  I know that this is half your original asking price, but it is double my original offer, and honestly, who would profit most from that?

I hope this offer is to your liking.  I realize now that attempting to talk you down in price was poor practice, especially considering how badly I want, nay, need this game.  It is like a hole in my soul, a rhyme all the time, a sunken boat in a moat, swiss cheese filled with fleas.  I can't sleep, I can't eat.  Help me Mr. Keizer, you're my only hope.

Sincerely,
Agentkooper

Goonies

As sad as this makes me, I cannot find the original post, only the title.  Luckily that's about all you need.

Original post title:

__________GOON CONDITION SLIM PS2____________

This has to be one of my favorite typos ever.  I didn't even catch it until my friend, Poop n Pee, pointed it out to me.  To say the least, my curiosity was piqued.

Agentkooper's response:

Kevin,

Could you please better describe the condition of the slimline PS2?  I understand it is in goon condition, but can you be more clear?  Is this a special collectors edition PS2 that proudly displays Eric Powell's comic creation The Goon, or is it more horrific like the following example: http://rofl.wheresthebeef.co.uk/Goon%20Goon%20Goon%20Room.jpg

And what games are included in the price?  Do you have Mojo, Madden 2004, NFL Gameday (any year), Bad Boys, Miami Vice, Fantavision, and any thing by acclaim?  If so I need to know before deciding if you're collection is truly goonish in nature.

Finally, I have three frozen corn beef briskets, three head of cabbage, a stuffed ET, a Boba Fett flashlight, an entire run of both Alpha Flight and West Coast Avengers comic book available for trade.  I'm keeping my yoda night light.  Everything else can be yours depending the level of goonity reached by your system.

Would you believe it?  Kevin responded right away:

GOON IS A TYPE O

 

ITS SUPPOSED TO SAY GOOD CONDITION PS2

 

ITS NO SPECIAL EDITION

 

I HAVE GTA AND THE SIMS AND A FEW RACING GAMES BUT NOTHING FROM ACCLAIM

 

IF YOU ARE STILL INTERESTED IN IT PLEASE TEXT ME AND TELL ME YOUR OCATION BECAUSE I DONT DO ANY SHIPPING

 

MY NUMBER IS *** *** **** 

Now that my hopes of attaining a Goon Condition PS2 were dashed I decided not to respond.  Kevin, on the other hand, brought the hard sell:

ALRIGHT DUDE I NEED TO MOVE THIS PS2 SOON CUZ I GOT SOME BILLS SO IF YOU ARE LOCAL AND WOULD LIKE IT THEN PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!

 

I DONT HAVE ANY OF THE LISTED GAMES BUT I HAVE PLAYED THIS THING WITH NO PROBLEMS SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW ASAP

Questions

Original Craig's List post:

Bubble Bobble for NES. Ask questions if interested.

Never one to miss an opportunity I asked those pesky questions that had been nagging at me as of late.

Agentkooper's response:

Hello,

I am writing in regards to your offer.  I am interested in asking questions.

Question 1. Is it illegal for a sixteen year old to be left alone at home for a month?

Question 2. Why is glacier ice blue?

Question 3. If polar bears become extinct will caribou herds grow too large?

Question 4. What is your favorite color?

Question 5. What does your mom think of the neighbors shed

Question 6 Do you have any friends

Question 7 If you knew someone that didn't have friends would you be their friend?

Question 8 Are random sighting of blue cheese burgers funny?  Why or why not

Question 9 Let's get back to the friend thing.  Would you make a good friend if someone needed one?  I'm asking for my friend, not me, I have lots of friends, and no, not just on myspace or Xbox Live.  I have real friends all over the place.  I even have a girlfriend, but you wouldn't know her, she lives in another state, but she's a super model or something and really good looking.  Actually I have two or more girlfriends.  Pffffff!  No, I'm not sharing. 

Unfortunately, as of this moment, my questions have gone unanswered.  Feel free to answer them below.

Touch My Monkey

**Monkey Mitt---Monkey wrap around** monkeyshines - $10

I really think these are adult toys--my guys had a lot of fun with them. The monkey mitt is 11" and takes long fingers to move the face around. It had a voice box but it went mute so the human has to make the monkey sounds. The wrap around monkey has weighted feet and hands so it will stay wrapped around you better. The legs and arms are 14" long. You can do all sorts of "monkeyshines" with these two at anytime the idea strikes you. From pet/smoke free home. If interested please answer ad or phone me at 253-***-**** for time and place to meet. Thanks for shopping with me. (My brother in ****** has kindly offered to take things to his home for pick up on Mondays if that is more convenient for you.) I can mail these to you (or anywhere in the US) if you also pay the shipping cost(just like Ebay).

Agentkooper's response:

Hello,
At last! Adult toys in the shape of monkeys! I do have some questions
though before I commit to purchasing the product. First, exactly what
kind of fun did your guys have with them? This is important information
both because I need to know specifically how to use these products and
because the question of wear. Second, I understand that the mitt is
11" inches long making this the appropriate size, but there is no
mention of circumference. Six inches would be perfect, but 5-7 inches
would suffice. Third, do you have a recording of the original noise to
insure that my human makes the appropriate noises, or should I assume
that I will have to find someone with exceptional monkey scream
abilities? Finally, how well will the wrap around monkey hold? There
are possibilities here.

 Thanks for your time, I hope to be up to all kinds of "monkeyshines" soon.

Her response to Agentkoopers response:

Hello,

No recording of the monkey voice but I remember it being a raspy sound not a scream.  The voice box is still in the monkey--maybe you are able to get it going again.  My sons used these at parties to squeek at girls (who obliged by doing their own pretty screams) and to amuse youngsters by making the mitt move into different facial contortions. The wraparound monkey has weighted feet/hands and so the arms and legs stay wherever you put them--over your back, over your arms, around your neck, etc. I measured the mitt and it is 6" across it. Hope that is enough info. Thanks for the inquiry.  Grannie Rose