I'm Your Biggest Fan!!

Just asking the obvious.  Original Craig's List post:

Desk Fan - $5

i have an brandnew desk fan still in the box and sealed look at the pictures iff u are interested please call me at ***-***-**** thanks !!!!

Sometimes it's fun just to be an asshole:

Hello,

I am very interested in purchasing your desk fan, but I am curious how you know that there is actually a fan inside the box if the box is sealed.  Could you open the box to make sure before this sale progresses?  Any pics proving it is a fan would be appreciated.

Thank you for your time.

Oh good God she opened it and responded twice:

hy there i m nicole !!!! i just opened the fan and it is a fan in there still rapped up and brandnew !!!! let me what u think or if u want them !!!! my number is ***-***-****   thanks

hy there !!!! i just opened it and it is a fan in there with everything still packed up let me know what u think or iff u wanna have it !!!! thanks or call me at ***-***-****

I was just going to ask her if she had a sealed one because I don't like to buy used, but Poop n Pee insists that I push this a bit farther.  Agentkooper's response:

Nicole,

Is there any chance I could get a scan of the front of the fan or a photo of the fan next a standard stuffed animal (like a Care Bear, Gloworm, etc.) so I can better gauge the size?  I have a very tight area I have to fit this into and I want to make sure it isn't too big.

Thanks for everything!  You are great to work with!

Believe it or not, she did respond to tell me that the picture of the fan, now opened, was posted (is that a stuffed animal in the picture?):

hy !!!! i have the picture edit to craigslist !!! take a look and let me know  thanks

Lot's for sale, Lot's sold

Huge post, but you have to see the whole thing to understand my response.  Thanks to Poop n Pee for putting this one together.

Collectable games for Nintendo,Saturn,SNES,N64 Games - $10

I have lots of games for sell. I have many great titles for different systems. If you are interested in any of these games please feel free to email me, so we can schedule a meeting time. I also have a few list of games that I may be willing to make trades for. ***-***-**** Call between 11am-6pm. Thanks. 

NINTENDO NES 

Excitebike $6 
Metroid $10 
Adventure Island $8 
Legend of Zelda Gold Cart $15 
Adventure of Link Gold Cart $15 
Ninja Gaiden $6 
Ninja Gaiden II $10 
Tetris $10 
Dr Mario $10 
Double Dragon II $8 
Double Dragon III $10 
Donkey Kong Classic $8 
Ghost'N Goblins $10 
Castlevania II $10 
Batman $5 
Batman Return of the Joker $10 
Paperboy $8 
Megaman 2 $10 
Megaman 3 $10 
Megaman 6 $15 
Metal Gear $6 
Rygar $6 
Strider $8 
River City Ransom $15 

NES Controllers $5 
NES Light gun $5 
NES Advantage Joy stick $5 

 

SUPER NINTENDO SNES 

Donkey Kong Country $8 
Donkey Kong Country 2 $15 
Final Fantasy Mystic Quest $8 
Contra III $15 
Super Mariokart $15 
Super Metroid $15 
Megaman Soccer Complete in Box (very rare) $40 
Aerobiz Supersonic (very rare) $30 

Super SNES controllers $7 

 
 

NINTENDO N64 

Super Mario 64 $15 
Donkey Kong 64 $10 
Zelda Ocarina of Time $10 
Bomberman 64 $8 
Super Smash Bros. $15 
Mariokart 64 $15 
Bomberman Hero Complete in Box $15 
Banjo Kazooie in Box (no manual) $15 
Super Mario 64 Complete in Box $25 
StarFox 64 Complete in box with Rumble Pak $25 

 

SEGA SATURN 

Tetris Plus $10 
Tomb Raider $10 
Street Fighter the Movie $10 
Street Figher Alpha 2 (New, seal is broken) $20 
Golden Axe the Duel (New seal is broken) $60 

Saturn controller $7 
Saturn AC/AV cords $15 
Saturn Memory Card $10 

 

Agentkooper's response (as written by Poop n Pee)

Dear Sir or Madam
I am most interested in all the games you have for sale in this post, with the exception of Simon's Quest.  That is a very bad game (follow link for more on that subject http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4we8iFk-fY).

Before we can discuss a meeting place, bulk pricing or the possibility of trades I would appreciate new pictures of the games with the word "sold" super imposed over each item for sale.  While this may be an odd request it would put my mind at ease that you will in fact be selling the games and further confirm your dedication.

Thank you for your time.

P.S.
What happened with Bomberman Hero to make the text for the word "sold" green instead of red?  I am nervous.

His response didn't anwser my questions, but you can see it below:

Hi, I can do bulk pricing. Let me know what games you are interested in, and then I can take a picture of it for you and attach to your email.

Thanks.

So let's ask again:

I find it very disconcerting that you didn't answer my question.  Why does Bomberman Hero have a green "sold" over the top when every other game had red writing?  I am very concerned that this may be a scam in progress.

Otherwise, I am interested in all the games that don't have lines through them.  The others are bad luck and I don't want them in my home.

Please send a picture with "sold" written over the top so I know you are not thinking of also selling these to others.

Thank you

What a load of crap!

Thanks to friend Poop n Pee for sending so many of these awesome products.

As originally posted on Craig's List:

Manure

6 - 5gallon buckets and 3 smaller buckts

My response to the ad below:

Hello,

I am interested in the manure but I have a few questions.  Is it fresh?  What are the dietary habits of the production animal?  Especially curious if the manure can be considered organic.  I am somewhat confused by the volume of the manure.  Are you offering between five and six one gallon buckets, or six buckets each containing five gallons of manure.  Finally, can you check the volume of the three smaller buckets?  This can easily be done by emptying the manure out and measuring the amount of water that it takes to fill each bucket.

Thanks!

Dumping Bush

This guy totally doesn't deserve this, but what the hell?

Original post on Craig's List.

Free bushes---hedging ??

Not sure exactly what they are called, they are approx. 5 feet tall and are up against fencing. I can't take a pic sorry. There are about a dz. you dig them up and they are yours. Otherwise i chop them down and away they go to the dump.

Agentkooper responds:

President GW Bush may not have been the most popular president, but this is a sick joke.  Threatening to chop and dump the bodies of the former President's ancestors is not funny.  On top of that you don't even have the courtesy to look up their names.  How about Prescott Sheldon Bush, or Dorothy Walker, or Rev. James Smith Bush, or even George Herbert Walker?  At least you show the decency not to post pictures of the deceased in various stages of decay, although eluding to such is disgusting. 

What an outrage!

MODern pricing

One thing that really pisses me off is when people set their price at $1 in the title of their product listing when they will obviously be charging a much higher price.  An examply of this idiocy can be found below.

Custom, Modded, HDMI Xbox 360 + extra 320 OBO - $1

Custom modded xbox 360 with all cords and 20gb hard drive NOT BANNED and xbox live safe 
everything works with rrod fix 
what you get is 
xbox 360 with 20gb hard drive 
HDMI cord (not a/v) and power cord 
wireless controller 
3-5 burned games maybe more 

Agentkooper's response to the ad:

That, sir, is an amazing product!  You do great work!  WOW!  Although I do have some questions.  How did you make the side of system invisible?  Is it really a decal, or did you just paint the side to look exactly like the inside components?  Also how did you get your rrod fixed?  I've had so many problems with mine.  Finally, what burned games are we talking about here?
It all sounds like a great deal for only $1, but Momma Kooper didn't raise any fools.  I'll give you $.75 for the package, but if you can definitely give me five good games I'd be willing to go up to $.85. 

Good news for me, Mr. Mod decided to give me a little more info, although using a shift key is too much to ask:

sorry its not for $1 its actually $320 or OBO
and its cutted and place with plexiglass so you can see inside the xbox
the rrod fix is done by a friend and he took the xclamps off and put artic silver for the thermal 
i got games like cod5, mortal combat vs dc,left 4 dead,army of two,saint rows 2,resident evil 5, guitar hero world tour and aerosmith

Hoping for some idea of why people lie about their pricing, I respond:

Why does your title line have $1 written into it if you're asking more than that?  Just curious.  Has anyone made an offer yet?  I am still very interested in this system.

Poop n Pee has decided to get into the discussion, posing as a little kid who is incredibly excited that his dreams of owning an Xbox 360 will finally come true.  

This is so freaking cool i aked my mom if i could get an xbox and she said i could if i could raise the money but i didnt have enough so i didnt think i woul dbe able too gt one but i saw your ad and now an very excited becuz i can aford this i cant belif you are selling this for so little but i have 1 dollar and my mom said to email you and ask when i can get it but she didnt think that you were selling it for so little so i am emailing you so i can tell her were to go so she can get it also you said 3-5 burned games or maybe more i have a total of 80 dollers and would spend more if you can give me more games because i relly want some more games because i wont be able to afford more thank you very much and god bless

He has responded:

usually a lot of people on craigslist will put things for $1 but also in the title line it says $320 OBO then if you read the contents inside it also says $320 OBO so you have to read carefully and some offers i got were like $275

Poop n Pee is having much less luck getting a response so he tried again:

i got a 3 day weekend and my mom will let me come pick up your xbox until 8 oclock tonite if you hurrry i can come pick it up tonite and like i said i will be able to buy more cames as much as 80 dollers worth so please answer me quick cause i would really like to be able to play xbobx  tonite if i could cause that would be aweomse and my mom is wanting to not half to go out that late if she dont have to thanks once again my name is Doug but i cant give you my phone number till i get yours first my mom wont let me thanks man and god bless

On a Keizer Bun

Again, huge apologies for not having the original Craig's List post.  The only reason I responded to this guy was he claimed "I know video games so don't try 2 mess with me.  I know what I'm doing".  That was enough right there.

Agentkooper's response:

You don't know video games. If you did you would be charging half the
price you are. But I'll take pity on you and give you 100% of your
asking price minus 75% for claiming to know video games when you
obviously don't. And I just want Caesars Palace. $ 0.50 is my final offer.

Mr. Keizer was quick to respond:

I know about video games, we have every thing from Atari to the Wii. I am selling these because they are doubles and we dont need them. I am asking $2 for the game, so now I will not take $0.50.

And back at him:

Now you will not take $0.50?  Will you take it later?  Will you take it in a boat?  Will you take it with a goat?  When will you take my fifty cents? I can deliver it to your tents!

Since you know so much about games and have so many doubles I am looking
 for games from these systems:
 The Vectrex, The Neo Geo, The Wonder Swan, The Piipen?
 No? Then you suck!
I know what I'm doing!

Childish?  Yes, but this guy really pissed me off.  Apparently, the feeling was mutual:

Look dude you need help.  For your imformation the Vectrex is for sale at Amazon for $200 and its a system set, The Neo Geo is a system for $400, The Wonder Swan is not a game either and Piipen is not a game either.
I listed a few games I am selling for cheap. I neave said I had any rare expensive systems for sale. So back off. I am not selling a game worth $2 for .50. You are insain. If you dont want want it then go away and leave it be.

More correspondence:

Mr Keizer,
Are you offering me help?  Because you're right, I do need help.  I need help finding Ceasar's Palace for $.50.  I also need help understanding your message.  When you wrote "If you dont want want it then go away and leave it be" I got confused.  Are you creating a situation where if I don't want to want it I should go away and leave it be, or is this a clever double negative where you are in fact asking me to stay and bugger the crap out of it?  And I am unsure of your meaning when you referred to me as insain.  At first glance I believed you to be accusing me of being insane, which is quite possibly true, but upon further inspection I came to realize that you might believe I was "in drain" or otherwise stuck in plumbing apparatus.  If this is the case let me take a moment to put you mind at ease.  I am not trapped in a pipe a la Mario.

Sincerely,
Agentkooper

And finally, in desperation, this:

Well played Mr. Keizer, well played.  Your incredible knowledge of video games has won the day.  I have decided to increase my offer of $.75 for your copy of Ceasars Palace to an astounding $1.  I know that this is half your original asking price, but it is double my original offer, and honestly, who would profit most from that?

I hope this offer is to your liking.  I realize now that attempting to talk you down in price was poor practice, especially considering how badly I want, nay, need this game.  It is like a hole in my soul, a rhyme all the time, a sunken boat in a moat, swiss cheese filled with fleas.  I can't sleep, I can't eat.  Help me Mr. Keizer, you're my only hope.

Sincerely,
Agentkooper

Goonies

As sad as this makes me, I cannot find the original post, only the title.  Luckily that's about all you need.

Original post title:

__________GOON CONDITION SLIM PS2____________

This has to be one of my favorite typos ever.  I didn't even catch it until my friend, Poop n Pee, pointed it out to me.  To say the least, my curiosity was piqued.

Agentkooper's response:

Kevin,

Could you please better describe the condition of the slimline PS2?  I understand it is in goon condition, but can you be more clear?  Is this a special collectors edition PS2 that proudly displays Eric Powell's comic creation The Goon, or is it more horrific like the following example: http://rofl.wheresthebeef.co.uk/Goon%20Goon%20Goon%20Room.jpg

And what games are included in the price?  Do you have Mojo, Madden 2004, NFL Gameday (any year), Bad Boys, Miami Vice, Fantavision, and any thing by acclaim?  If so I need to know before deciding if you're collection is truly goonish in nature.

Finally, I have three frozen corn beef briskets, three head of cabbage, a stuffed ET, a Boba Fett flashlight, an entire run of both Alpha Flight and West Coast Avengers comic book available for trade.  I'm keeping my yoda night light.  Everything else can be yours depending the level of goonity reached by your system.

Would you believe it?  Kevin responded right away:

GOON IS A TYPE O

 

ITS SUPPOSED TO SAY GOOD CONDITION PS2

 

ITS NO SPECIAL EDITION

 

I HAVE GTA AND THE SIMS AND A FEW RACING GAMES BUT NOTHING FROM ACCLAIM

 

IF YOU ARE STILL INTERESTED IN IT PLEASE TEXT ME AND TELL ME YOUR OCATION BECAUSE I DONT DO ANY SHIPPING

 

MY NUMBER IS *** *** **** 

Now that my hopes of attaining a Goon Condition PS2 were dashed I decided not to respond.  Kevin, on the other hand, brought the hard sell:

ALRIGHT DUDE I NEED TO MOVE THIS PS2 SOON CUZ I GOT SOME BILLS SO IF YOU ARE LOCAL AND WOULD LIKE IT THEN PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!

 

I DONT HAVE ANY OF THE LISTED GAMES BUT I HAVE PLAYED THIS THING WITH NO PROBLEMS SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW ASAP